“freebody”

After having a conversation with one of my customers yesterday, it spiked an idea for my next blog post.  I haven’t written in awhile, but I just was unsure what to write about – but then it came to me.  Everyday I get texts and emails surrounding my upcoming move.  Yes, I’m moving…again.  And I’m going to talk about it right here and now.

He asked me what I was doing this weekend and I responded, “Well, my boyfriend is moving to Colorado on Wednesday, so this is our last weekend in Philadelphia together.”

“Well, what are you doing?”

I responded, “I’m moving too, just in a couple of months.”

He said, “So you went from New York City to Philadelphia and now to Denver?”

I nodded.

“Damn, you are a ‘freebody'”

So I googled what a freebody is.  And it is a physics term that isn’t necessarily bad.  It basically shows all the outside forces acting on an object.  My first thought of a freebody was someone who had no real connections to the places he or she has lived and just floats from one place to another.  And that’s not me at all.  Granted, that might be what my customer meant when he said that, but of course, as a writer I over think everything and need to find out the truth behind this freebody business.

Being a freebody, in my opinion, isn’t bad.  Yes, I consider the forces acting on me and I am willing to change my plans given a change in the forces.  I do not resist change or opportunities.  I always acknowledge my feelings and I know when it’s time to move forward.

In New York, I was stuck for sometime because I wanted to stay in one place. That’s how I knew my life, in New York.  I had people I loved there and I built roots in the 5 years I spent on the Upper East Side.  I didn’t want to leave New York.  But then I realized that staying in that small 600 square feet apartment in Queens was not the answer.  I acknowledged what I needed to do and I moved to Philadelphia to start a new beginning. There are far better things in the future than any we leave behind.  I didn’t always believe that, but now I do. 

I moved all my stuff (mostly clothes and kitchen appliances) up 5 flights of stairs to my new life in Society Hill, Philadelphia.  I stated once I reached the top of the stairway, “I’m NOT moving AGAIN!”  But what do you know, not even a year later…I’m leaving.

Sometimes it’s scary to let the forces act on you and accept change and movement with grace and poise.  This is because allowing the forces to act on you you have to admit you are not in complete control of the situation.  You are vulnerable to a certain extent.

But, that vulnerability can be strength.

You can try to fight the forces. I tried to ignore my diagnosis.  I tried to deny red flags in a shitty relationship.  Or, you can accept the forces and see where the new direction takes you.

I fell in love with Peter Barnes about 9 months ago.  On our first date, sitting above Philadelphia, he told me his plans to move out west in September.  With my whole heart I hoped to God that I didn’t fall in love with this guy. But that smile. I had no plans to move to Colorado. Obviously.  I made plans to stay in Philadelphia.  And it was history ever since.

If I have learned anything in this crazy life, plans change. So I’m packing up my Philadelphia apartment into my small Chevrolet Cruze and moving to Colorado.

Call me a freebody.

I do not resist opportunity or change.  I can acknowledge my feelings and I know when it’s time to move forward.  I take chances.  I am not afraid of the unknown.  Yes, I’m human, and I have anxiety about huge life changes but I continue to move forward.

So maybe that customer that knew nothing about me was on to something.  I may not be in complete control of the situation, but that’s okay, I can admit that.  Right now, my vulnerability is my strength.

As a friend once told me, “if you made the choice, it’s the right one.”

And I have 100 percent made the choice.  And it’s the right one. 

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